The Mistress Speaks Out
I was ready to write on another topic, but it seems I was lead to address a topic we tend to justify, all too often. Let me provide you a scenario, so that you can get the jest of what shall be addressed. Disclaimer: I had to make this PG-13:
“(Inbox) The Mistress Speaks Out
Allow me to introduce myself. I am that new twinkle in your man’s eye. I am the reason for the extra pep in his step. Doesn't Daddy look extra handsome these days? It’s not only the designer suits that I buy for him, it’s also the confidence that is restored in him, because unlike you, I remind him on a regular basis that he is “the man.” I’ll give credit where it’s due. You weren't always the selfish witch you turned into. You really got him through some tough times. When he had no money, you supported him. (How could he forget, when you bring it up every chance you get?) Back in high school, when he wasn't the cool guy on campus, you showed love. But much like your waistline from when he first met you… things have changed. Before you get your granny panties in a bunch, don’t fret. You have a good man. He did not set out to hurt or betray you, things just kind of happened. To my knowledge, he loves you very much, and has this displaced loyalty I only partly understand. But despite the love, here I am, comfortably nestled in his daily thoughts. It’s normal to hate me and everything I stand for. But it is your inflexibility in just about everything in life which goes double in the bedroom that pushed him to this point. Let’s be for real, do you really think it is okay for a man to never receive oral sex? Who do you think keeps him satisfied until the next birthday or holiday when you decide to make the journey down there? As long as there are women like you, women like me will always be in business. You make my job so easy. Why you may ask? For starters you have too much mouth. Why are there two kings in the castle? You may think you are winning the war with your constant nagging and complaining, but you are merely battling your way to a lonely bed at night. Your insecurity and incessant need for validation are the nails that are sealing your coffin. When Daddy is with me it’s refreshing. I know my role and I serve proudly. There is nothing to argue about, only laughter and good times allowed in our private world. Of course I see your internet posts… “jump-off” this, and “side-piece” that. Forgive me for being “unphased.” Those names pale in comparison to some of the names that Daddy calls me when he is ravishing my body. We have fun experimenting with the things you are too uptight and/or controlling to allow. Sure his parents love you, and his colleagues look forward to seeing you at the holiday parties. That bothers me none, because when he is staring off into space, he is recalling the sexy lap dance I gave him. So, I have to celebrate on December 26, and February 15, that is fine by me. All I need is him. While your selfish butt is forcing him to take you to an over-priced restaurant to celebrate Valentine’s Day…I am in the gym, keeping things tight for your man. You can keep the chocolates too, much too fattening for me. Be very afraid. I am not going anywhere. There are many others out here just like me waiting to step up when I do. You've been warned.
Blissfully His, the Mistress”
I know at first glance, reading the given scenario, women are probably dumbfounded. Whereas men are probably grasping for air, but for a different reason than what we may all think. The scenario was posted in a Facebook group, that I am in, and it asked for our thoughts. I do not know if the scenario is real or not. I am lead to believe that there is validity in said information, since I have come to see that people are not in the frame of mind of valuing relationships, let alone marriage.
I am going to share with you my initial response that I supplied in the group:
“Bold is what first came to mind. Selling herself short is what came to my mind next. Low self-worth is what came to my mind thereafter. Finally, what came to my mind is sadness, as even in this she may be right, it doesn't make her right. We can justify mess all day long and it's still wrong. Wake up and realize no one is winning in this situation.”
One of the men who responded to this scenario really struck a core with me, and I just couldn’t let it go: James “I absolutely love this!!!!! Look at Godsgift comments. The first thing a woman does is try to shame another woman for getting after what she wants. Nothing or no one is off limits. That includes your man. So if you won’t do what’s necessary to keep that smile on ‘Daddy's’ face then she will. She knows you have a good thing while you forgot.”
You can see my initial response was not elaborate. I am not going to address the underline problem that I see with the posting. It will take me to a place that my spirit doesn’t need. What I am going to address is this lack of self-love, which is becoming so prevalent. My head just hurts thinking about the world we are living in today. We are in a world where people are seeking to call wrong right and right wrong. It is my belief that the reason people do not honor their marriage, because they have forgotten their vow to God. We are seeking to blame everyone but ourselves for our lack of commitment. I am of the frame of mind, that just because you can, does not mean you should. Take the scenario and the response from “James”…. I truly just want to slap him. Yet slapping him would not change his thought process. His type of opinion however, gets me out of my character and justifies another behavior that I find deployable. Therefore, let me Segway back to my subject for today:
Ladies and Gentlemen, please stop the foolishness. You do not need to stay in a relationship that you do not value. I am so sick and tired of people writing into Steve Harvey, Rickey Smiley, and all other relationship advice columns seeking to justify staying in a relationship, where it is clear as day that there is no self –love, value of family and faith. We are truly living in our last days, if we continue to operate in the mentality that vengefulness is ours. We are living in a self-entitlement society, where we want instant gratification. We must learn to do an internal self checking. I have been taught that in a relationship there are three sides to a story, their side, my side, and the truth. However, over the years, in my opinion no one cares what the truth is. No one cares that the truth can set you free. No one cares that love is an action word and not a noun. No one cares. In that lies the ultimate problem. No one cares. You have no concern for others because you do not care for yourself. What message do we tell young boys and girls when they read scenarios such as the one presented? When a man says, I think the mistress is on point, and ladies need to take heed to what she is saying. I tell you what we are saying, that right is wrong and wrong is right. We all know that with all relationships there is good and bad. We understand that there can sometimes be strife. We would be naïve to think that it will be roses and sunshine all the time. However, I am of sound mind to think that working together, seeking to forsake all others, will enable two people to work together in the good and bad times. Where a relationship will never go so far gone, that one would seek to justify the actions of infidelity. When you love yourself, you are able to love others. You would not want to hurt yourself, and understand that by committing ungodly acts you could be doing is hurting yourself. Am I wrong in my sentiment? What is really wrong with the world is that there is no healthy fear of God, and that people have no love for themselves?
You know the saying, you can be so heavenly minded that you are no earthly good. I think in instances of lack of self-love and justifications of said scenario, we can be so earthly good that we destine ourselves to the kingdom of hell. Let me know your thoughts?
The Mistress Speaks Out
I want to thank the contributors to this discussion. I am not all knowing and it’s good to hear from others. Joseph, I think you may have been deceived. In my world, darkest and light do not go together. Therefore, the message and the messenger do not go together. Leading to this fact of why I cannot receive this message from the messenger. We have to look at intent. When someone provides information, we ask what their motivation is. Are they seeking to empower, uplift or are they seeking to destroy. I conclude that the messenger was seeking to destroy. Henceforth, I cannot ride with her.
As for the other two posters, I had to smile when I saw your post. I want us as women to actively engage one another. Empower one another. We can call a spade a spade without being jaded. My human side would love to smack the taste out of the woman and the man, however, I look at this situation and I see sadness. I believe no one is winning in this situation. In relationships we must communicate. If we do not, we allow for all types of things to enter into our relationships. We must be active listeners, to engage in the communication process. We should be able to know via verbal and non-verbal cues when something is not quite right. If we ignore our problems they will only get worst.
Therefore, I conclude to everyone, we know that relationships can be a challenge. However, if you are willing to work at it and give your all, I am under the belief that the reward will be so plentiful.
Love you all and keep on writing and supporting.
My comment is more or less to what Joseph said. You some what have a point...we, women really should continue the things that "got" the man in the first place. However, if men and women would learn to truly communicate with one another, we may not have so many problems in the first place. I have been on both sides of this scenario. For the record, when women cheat, we usually don't have to lie to about our situation to get another man in bed with us. Most men do! (most). On the other side of things, I am a woman who does not tell my man "no". To anything! Yet, he still found the need to "step out".
The married woman is not at fault here. The married man and his 'clean up woman' are. When I was 'her' I was wrong! God honors marriage, and will restore the love and passion lost, IF husband and wife want restoration.
Anything worth having is worth working for. I'm just saying.
Disclaimer I had to pg-13 comment:
I would slap the crap out of this women! Who in the heck does she think that she is! She does not know the at home situation. Dumb girl, she only knows the lies that he has told her in order to get into her pants! I cannot believe the audicity of this women! He is a low down dirty man who would say and do anything to get a dumb witch like her to give it up! Odd how some women will still believe anything! Boo as long as he is still at home with her you mean NOTHING!
My name is Joseph, and I was hoping to post my opinion so that the rest of your readers can view. I personally see only one thing wrong with what was stated, and that is it had the wrong messenger. Other than that, you women, really need to stop doing everything to get the ring, and nothing to keep the ring. Do not deflect what I am saying, but a rebutable of what men or your man is doing, and just take ownership of what you have control over. Therefore, I charge you not to shoot the messenger but take note to the message.