It's Just Me

02/04/2013 21:35

        It was pointed out so eloquently, that you cannot expect something from someone else that you yourself are not willing to give. Therefore, in light of this revelation knowledge, I sought to explore my inner demons.

 

        One of my favorite artists is Mary J. Blidge. From the time she released Reminisce, it seems as though I have been living out her songs in my life. What I come to learn is that you cannot hold onto the past, because it will affect your future. I often joke with my friends about the first question I will ask God. The question is: “What did I do to receive my assignment on earth?”  You laugh, but you probably thought the same thing too.

 

        Over the years, I have grown to be the more responsible of my siblings.  I do not believe that is by luck.  I always take into consideration the consequences of my actions.  I was never one to like discipline, especially on the basis of not doing what was right. Therefore, in my lifetime, my mother only had to give me three spankings. This experience from my youth, caused me to be more guarded, and has hindered me in many personal relationships. A lot of who we are, how we were raised, shapes how we interact with others.  My family is filled with dominant personalities.  I tell people there is no gray area when determining whether you will or will not like me. You see Business Taneka, is very head strong and confident in her abilities.  Social Taneka is reserved, and likes to watch her surroundings. Social Taneka and business Taneka do not mix well together.  It causes confusion and conflict often when working with those who know Taneka on a personal level.  It’s a catch 22.

 

        Social Taneka has been lied on and mistreated, thus leading her to be protective of her heart. In the interim, it caused her to lose someone whom she felt was her soul mate. Business Taneka, lost out on a career opportunity, because the head strong mentality didn’t work in the corporate environment she longed to be a part of.  Social Taneka, has never truly had the opportunity to venture into the unknown.  She can be calculated in her thoughts and reasoning’s.  So, there is complexity when dealing with Taneka, just as there is complexity when dealing with you.  My views are very direct and plain. Either say what you mean, and mean what you say. Do not get beside yourself, to the point where you are unable to deal with the consequences.  Life is about choices, and one must live with them all.  After a certain age, one can no longer blame parents, regardless of how messed up they maybe.

 

        What does this mean on how I view life? What does this mean to you? Why am I sharing this information? I believe I may have missed an opportunity to lay out the foundation. I had to introduce myself so that you understand my writing style, how I address and reveal certain things. Not everyone is going to take the time and look beyond the surface. Not everyone is going to take the time and ask the question. Thus, I must be willing to lay it all out on the line, in hopes from my eyes; you get a sense of familiarity.  In other words, place where you want to interact with me, where you want to engage in this process called communication. I say to you, I am a work in progress. Through this forum, it is important that growth continues to happen. I challenge you to challenge me to be better. I have a lot to say, but one thing I have learned, is that there is a time to talk, and there is a time to listen. The doors of the blog is open; you have the floor. Let’s talk….

Topic: It's Just Me

It's Just Me

Rochelle | 02/09/2013

Hey Taneka:

I have been MIA. I got the chance to read your latest post. It took you long enough. Just kidding. Glad you too my advice. :-).

I still believe you have deeper to go. I have a topic that I want you to write on. Sex. What are your view points? Heartbreak? Monogamy?

If you can go deep on this subject, then I know I no longer need to read your blog.

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