In A Place You Do Not Want To Be

03/01/2013 00:08

    How many of you have found yourself in a place that you did not want to be? I venture to say, if you asked several people this question, most of them would say yes. This topic that I chose for my very first blog is near and dear to my heart.  One reason, because you too were once in this same situation, or currently stand in this not so fun place now.  Unfortunately, I too, have and currently rest in a place that I do not want to be.  Were the decisions I made cause me to be here; or was it the decisions of others?  Some of you probably won’t admit it, but I’ll have to say both my decision-making and the influence of others caused me to be here.  We end up in these places due to a number of reasons, but I will just touch on three.  Mind you, I am speaking from my own personal experiences.   Yet from conversations with family and friends, these three areas were their reason for being disappointed. Those reasons are as followed:

  1. Relationships
  2. Careers
  3. Self

    With relationships we sometimes end up in disappointment.  Those relationships can be marital, dating or even family and friends.  Have you ever been in a relationship, with someone and held a high level of expectation on that person?  If your answer is yes, then you’ve ended up in a place that you did not want to be.  Whether it was dating someone for years, hoping and believing that it would end up in marriage, but it didn’t. Whether you counted on a family member or friend to be there for you when you most needed it, but they weren’t. Just these few situations can cause any of us to be in a place that we do not want to be. In the result of relationships not going as expected you are now left with baggage. Baggage from the relationship can be bitterness, un-forgiveness, trust issues, anger or even jealousy.  These issues, if not dealt with properly can possibly stand in the way of healthy relationships. During these times you may find yourself asking the question “how did I get here”?


    When it comes to a career, maybe you’re not where you want to be financially, it’s not the ideal job, you’re still working pay check to pay check, or as a lot of people are these days are still unemployed.  Sadly, but truthfully I’ve been a result of all of these places. Many of us were taught that the American way to have a better life is to get an education. So you did that. Got the Bachelors, got the Masters and still, you are stuck. Stuck in a miserable place. Stuck in a place of hopelessness. Stuck in a place of second-guessing, and most of all in that place that you do not want to be.


    Now the one area some of us do not like to address is ourselves. There came a time in my life and maybe even yours were you had to realize that you are in this place because of self.  Self, made the decision to take that job or leave that job. Self, made the decision to get in that relationship and stay in the relationship when you knew it needed to end. And now you look around and ask yourself the question: “What happened?” “What did I do?” “Where did I go wrong?” In the midst of being in a place that you do not want to be, at times can end up in making an emotional decision, which ultimately results in being in a place that you do not want to be.


    As stated earlier, I also mentioned that some of us ended up in this place by the decisions of other people. You may be saying: “What do you mean by that?” Let me explain.  A few years ago there was a young lady who had a friendship with the opposite sex.  Now, these two had so much in common, got along, and knew each other’s deepest secrets.  Eventually, it resulted in those around them encouraging those two to take their friendship to another level. These two had never looked at each other in this way, but because they both desired to be married, and everyone else thought that they were perfect for each other they both ended up miserable. They ended up miserable because one wanted to move forward and the other thought that they should just stay friends. This made things complicated, which ended up damaging their friendship. In this case, these two ended up in this place, because they allowed other people to make a decision for them instead of keeping things the way it was.  Other people making decisions for you also can affect career choices. Whether you’re the type that if mom and dad are happy with the Career selection then you’ll say yes. If family and friends think that you should enter into relationship with a particular person then you say yes. Days, months, or even years later you end up in a place that you do not want to be in. 


    Now that you are here, what are you going to do?


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